Having suffered a traumatic childhood in which her parents deprived her of the fifteen to twenty books per week she required to sustain herself, at age seven Kelly Welles punished them by stealing reading material from their grown-up shelves. If her parents had been nuclear physicists, for example, or archaeologists, this act might have resulted in a precocity that ended with her being battered to death before puberty.
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, given the alternate scenario outlined above), her father was too busy with engines to read a great deal and her mother was fascinated with true-crime and serial murders. The impact of such books on a malleable, childish psyche cannot be underestimated, but happily for British society she utilised the books she found to learn new words and to date has not exhibited any behaviour that has drawn attention from law enforcement agencies. Not that she’s prepared to discuss, anyway.
The baggytrouseredmisanthropist blog aggregates the musings of this ex-skater/riot grrl with a fondness for sport, politics, feminism, bad television and Robert Tressell’s famous book. These days she can generally be found writing and editing thefootballramble.com’s Latest section, but she deigns to pop here on occasion. Otherwise, she’s “working on her novel”.
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