I want to work in this bookstore, featured in the superb IRC comedy Portlandia.

Why? Well, apart from the obvious feminist credibility it would afford me, I was pioneering this customer service standard during my years in retail, way before Fred Armison and Carrie Brownstein ran with it.

My employers were strangely resistant, but I maintain it’s the only way to deal with certain ‘types’ of customers.

The place was never the same after I left, anyway.