the baggy trousered misanthropist

missives issued from the lair


According to a recent survey, I am one of just twenty-seven people on the planet who use don’t the internet to look at pictures of naked people. I would have thought that a potential audience of 6,973,738,406 would be more than sufficient to sate those with an obviously urgent desire to flash their arses, but no. They continue to infiltrate my delicate  sphere of consciousness with their flappy bits, to the point where I’m contemplating a return to a paper based communication system.

For now though, I’m happy just to bitch.

Mad

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Image via twitter.

Streakers are huge offenders. If I’m not going to scan the information superhighway for hardbodies, why on earth would I want to see some bald, toothless, NSFW random’s ex-privates on a football pitch? Especially when he doesn’t even have the decency to remove his bloody socks. But. To every rule there is an exception, and in this case, the exception is this dude, who reportedly hauled his carcass over the protective glass at an ice-hockey game last night and skidded merrily across the rink before being apprehended by two suitably attired security guards.

He didn’t keep his socks on, did he?

Bad

Amateurs come across better on screen. Our customers feel that. Especially by women you can see it. They still feel strong pain.

Carlo Scalisi, Owner of 21 Sexury Video.

Because it’s better when it hurts, bitches.

Dangerous To Know

Dear Rihanna,

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Your judgement quite clearly sucks. But it’s not my place to pontificate on the ramifications of bringing a child into a situation which has already resulted in this happening to your face. Every parent has the right to ruin their kids’ lives and I’m not going to start bitching over natural law.

That said, I also think that kids have the right to grow up without their idols using social networking sites as platforms to articulate their own self-hatred. Your need for approval might be sated by millions of people masturbating over naked pictures of you, but in doing this stuff, you’re basically teaching the kids who like your music that this is the only way a female can validate herself. Someone with your talent does not need to resort to this shit.

Women-up and put some bloody clothes on, will you?

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