Carcasses On The Course: Day One At Cheltenham Races

The Cheltenham Festival - Day 1

Image: Samir Hussein/WireImage.

Unlike last year, there were no deaths on the track on the opening day of the Cheltenham Festival – a four day horse racing event during which those residents unfortunate enough not to be landed gentry stay at home to avoid the now traditional triumvirate of verbal abuse (tits… TITS, oi luv, did you hear me, you’ve got TITS!), vehicle gridlock and vomit.

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The Cheltenham Festival: A View From The Trenches

How very… titillating. Image: REUTERS/Stefan Wermuth.

I’ve lived in Cheltenham for much of my life and therefore feel totally qualified to chip in on this whole ‘Cheltenham Festival/Massacre’ debate.

However, it should probably be noted that if I lived in Guatemala, I would still feel the need to stick my nose in. The faster internet connection I would invariably have if this was the case would merely encourage me.

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