the baggy trousered misanthropist

missives issued from the lair

ono2

Looks ok on him, but… Image via facepunch.com.

In case you missed it, Yoko Ono recently unleashed a clothing collection inspired by her late husband, John Lennon, on an unsuspecting and, let’s be honest, entirely unprepared, world.

span12Apparently, the sketches that inspired the collection formed part of the wedding gift Ono gave her beau in 1969. They include transparent shirts and trousers featuring a handprint on the crotch, but while Ono claims the designs “emphasis[ed] his very sexy bod”, I fear that as with most high fashion, a smooth transition to the High Street may be tricky.

Take lycra. Whatever brain malfunction causes normal people to believe that slipping into some spandex instantly transforms them into a Pussycat Doll, Usain Bolt or some horrifying amalgamation of the two is reaching pandemic proportions.

So while Mr Model up there might be doing the world a favour by giving us a glimpse of his toned gluts, the reality might be a little more unpleasant.

arse

… this guy? Not so much.

Yes. That’s a genuine person I saw whilst in my local bar. He arrived like that, ordered his beverage like that and for all I know, is still sitting there, waiting for that women he met on the internet who caught a glimpse of him through the window and immediately gave up her romantic aspirations in favour of a  move to Botswana.

Personally, I’m just grateful the dude didn’t choose to emulate the jockstrap featuring LED light on that day. I’m not sure I would have lived to tell the tale.

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