Rebekah Brooks: Meet Jim ‘Bastard’ Fenner

Original Image: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images. Photoshopping: Moi.

As a journalist, Rebekah Brooks first impulse on discovering she is to face phone hacking charges will be to repair to HMV to stock up on Bad Girls DVDs. Background research and all that.

FYI Beks, the first and second series were utterly hilarious. Don’t bother with anything after. It kind of went downhill after Nicki Wade escaped.

You’re welcome.

James & Rupert Murdoch: It’s Behind You!

The News of the World, perhaps I lost sight of. Maybe because it was so small in the general frame of our company.

Rupert? Might I politely suggest you’re looking in the wrong direction? Despite your best efforts, it’s looking increasingly like the nasty beast you euthanised has resurrected itself in the warmth of your sunny blind spot, doubled back and is just about to take a huge chunk out of your backside.

Rumour has it, James just suffered a fairly serious mauling. Are you next?