Big Brother: The Young & the Desperate

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As bad habits go, writing  about appalling television sits on the social niceties scale alongside blowing one’s nose on the curtains.

Not only does the act provoke outrage and derision at the time, but everyone feels inexplicably dirty and wrong for a long time afterwards.

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Hideo Kojima: The word you’re clumsily grabbing for is “Tits”

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Those ‘soft materials’ are located in and around the breast area, in case you’re failing to keep up.

Unlike Metal Gear Solid character Quiet’s boobs on this soon to be released ‘action’ figure.

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Brazil 2014: Can’t You Just Buy A Scarf?!

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With just a week to go before the World Cup finals kick off in Sao Paolo, the Brazilian government has warned visitors against the purchase of animals as ‘souvenirs’ of their trip.

While the majority of media attention is focussed on allegations of human rights abuses and unfinished stadia during the build-up, guidelines have been issued advising that anyone caught buying animals or specific products derived from animals will face a fine of up to $2300 and a one year prison sentence. Items on the list include iguanas, parrots, monkeys, spiders and scorpions as well as jewellery and crafts made with feathers, teeth or leather.

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Elliot Rodger: The Blame Game

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Now that the smoke has cleared from yet another horrific shooting in the United States, we stand, united in our grief and nausea, peering at the twisted wreckage while trying desperately to make the shapes fit into whatever political ideology we feel most comfortable with.

The usual suspects have been led past for viewing by the great and the good of the media. World of Warcraft. Guns. Misogyny. Asperger’s. Even the notion of gay couples being able to marry has trudged by in leg irons, charged with being the single motivating factor behind 22-year-old Elliot Rodger’s decision to murder six of his peers, then shoot himself to death.

In a world as complex as this, you see, a world as beautiful and bewildering and harrowing as this, every single tiny thing is someone or something’s fault and if we can just find and kill the offender, everything will be fine.

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Digital Witness Says: Error. Does Not Compute

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For ‘The Valleys’ girls, this is a arguably step forward. Image via blogspot.

When I were a lass, digital technology was, like my sense of dignity, in its infancy.

I could stride confidently through my errors of judgement – clothing, opinions, whether a cardboard box full of beer bottles would indeed hold my weight – safe in the knowledge that while I would wake up with a hangover, some minor facial injuries and a heavy feeling of shame in my gut, it was unlikely the moment in question was currently being broadcast across social media networks or indeed, national newspapers.

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Dasha Zhukova: Supportive Partnerships

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While Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich is in no way responsible for his partner’s ‘professional’ output, given the number of racial controversies his club have been linked to in recent years, Dasha Zhukova’s decision to promote her new online magazine by posing on a ‘Black Woman Chair’, can, at best, be described as unhelpful.

Image: thesource.com.

Fearne Cotton: Keep Quiet & Carry On

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If you had asked me in 2000, I doubt I would have gone so far as to call myself a fan of Lostprophets.

Their brand of pop metal, performed by photogenic, heavily modded and moulded boys, leaned a little too close to the accessible mainstream than I was comfortable with at the time, but thefakesoundofprogress was a decent enough album and Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja still pops up on the odd playlist from time to time.

I don’t think I’m in the majority.

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I’m A Rational Human Being, Get Me Out Of Here!

 
That awkward moment when a woman who has won two gold medals (the universally accepted zenith of athletic achievement) admits on national television that she still feels worthless because the fact that she is not conventionally attractive is pointed out to her on a daily basis.

Well done, Western Society. Well done. *slow handclap*

Combustion Engines & Me: The Inevitable KABOOM Occurs

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Here’s a picture of what happened when my car’s head gasket blew yesterday.

Not the vehicle. From the outside you’d never know my faithful jalopy had given up the ghost. This is more a representation of what happened in my brain at the moment the sympathetic garage man broke the news.

Image via manstonfiremuseum.

Vice Magazine: Smile, Though Your Heart Is Aching

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Plath. Not bad, but could have made more of an effort with her hair. Image via jezebel.

It isn’t the fact that Vice magazine thought it appropriate to illustrate the fashion section of it’s ‘Women In Fiction’ issue with images of models posing as female writers at the time of their deaths.

It isn’t even that Jezebel reprinted them in full, re-emphasising the point regardless of the critical copy that surrounded them.

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