That awkward moment when a woman who has won two gold medals (the universally accepted zenith of athletic achievement) admits on national television that she still feels worthless because the fact that she is not conventionally attractive is pointed out to her on a daily basis. Well done, Western Society. Well done. *slow handclap*

Image: Tim Whitby/Getty Images Europe. Listening to Victoria Pendleton trying to explain her reasons for self-harming on the radio this morning reminded me of a time when I too sought refuge in the slicing of my own flesh. Conversations with people since then, plus the perspective that the passing years lent, did not make the compulsion …

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Penis not shown. But then, it doesn’t really need to be. Image: Lma/Bauer Griffin. Being a cynic of some repute, I had a feeling that this brave new world of post-Olympic British optimism wouldn’t last. The feelings of togetherness and joy we experienced as a nation – borne from the realisation that we were capable of …

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“You’re the wires guy, right?” Boris assumes security has been heightened in light of his last adventure. Image: SEAN DEMPSEY/AFP/GettyImages. It’s all over, people, and you can now expect the UK to drift back into the familiar territory of self-hatred and celebrity lovin’ superciliousness we know and the Daily Mail loves. Let’s just have one more …

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Image: AP Photo/Julie Jacobson, Ronald Martinez/Getty Images. We hope you enjoy your moment of glory. But please try & remember to retain an air of humility and dignity during all gold medal celebrations. Do not shout, squeal, run, jump or borrow someone’s camera and take pictures of your team-mates. Basically, no spur of the moment …

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