Peter Bucklitsch, the UKIP candidate for Wimbledon in the 2015 election, Twitter, 3rd September 2015.
Gawker: You Don’t Say?
Gawker there, proving that even in these dark times of journalistic over-simplification, it still possible to clarify too much.
Gullnado: Beyond The Wit Of Man
Embed from Getty Images
If you want to illustrate your inflammatory article about how seagulls are terrorising innocent holidaymakers on British beaches, Getty have helpfully put together a package of photographs for you to do so.
Equally, you can make a storyboard for a classic (bloody awful) creature feature called Gullnado. It’s more or less the same thing, of course, but at least with the latter you don’t have to play down the role that people’s inability to to deal with their food waste has on their behaviour.
You can make a plot point of it.
Piers Morgan: “A Stroppy Little Piece of Work”
Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift have fallen out on Twitter.
I know. I’m bringing it up and even I can’t be arsed with the details of an event with a cultural half-life of twenty-six seconds, but feel free to immerse yourself here.
The details aren’t particularly pertinent but I’m sure you’ll know someone you can impress with the resulting insight.
Continue reading “Piers Morgan: “A Stroppy Little Piece of Work””
#MerkelStrokes: How awkward do you want to get with this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji0D_aSUG8A
This video of Angela Merkel awkwardly comforting a teenage Palestinian refugee during a school discussion has gone viral under the hashtag #MerkelStrokes.
The theory being that the German Chancellor is unable to deal with it when directly confronted with the implications of her policies.
Continue reading “#MerkelStrokes: How awkward do you want to get with this?”
The Circle of Twat
Go With The Flo
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I’m usually excessively early to parties. It’s because I’m quite socially anxious, and if I arrive before anyone else, I can establish my exits and seating arrangements while simultaneously ensuring I don’t have to walk into a room full of people.
I spent much of my youth standing in empty nightclubs for much the same reason.
“He’s Behind You!”: The Fine Line Between Fun & Terror
Embed from Getty Images
I sense a breach of royal protocol may be on the horizon.
ZZ Top: What goes in beard, stays in beard
Next time we do one of those time capsule things, let’s not waste time with DNA, classical element samples and blood from random passers-by.
Just wrestle these two to the ground, chop off the bottom seven inches of their beards and fire them into space.
I highly doubt there is much of humanity worth documenting that hasn’t been captured in those masses of hair during in the forty-six years ZZ Top have been operating.
Jon Stewart: You can’t say I didn’t warn you
I’m putting this here.
I don’t want anyone who knows me – whether in real life, via social media or even just as a distant shape in cyberspace – to say they haven’t heard about this or haven’t had the opportunity to watch it.
If you choose not to watch it, that’s fine. That choice is part of the wider principle that Jon Stewart is articulating in this monologue and one I will defend to the best of my abilities.
Be proactive. Or reactive. Think about it first.
Make it a conscious decision to do jackshit.
Kelly Welles 