The I-Spy Guide To I’m A Celebrity: Sarcasm Edition

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Entertainment for the masses, 21st Century style. Image via yahoo.com. 

Like Dancing On Ice, ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here’ is one of the few celebrity based game shows that brings with it the very real and thrilling possibility of abject peril. Wanting to see someone you’ve been nursing a special hatred for get savagely attacked by a poisonous animal or have their fingers sliced off on an ice rink while Philip Schofield looks on in horror are perfectly natural human desires, and we should consider ourselves fortunate that so many celebrities are willing to hurl themselves into the fray for our entertainment.

‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here’ starts on Sunday. Here are some exciting things to look out for, just in case you missed last year’s highlight.

Anyone know how Fatima Whitbread’s doing, by the way?

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Feminism Is Dead. Long Live The Feminists!

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Women: developing the freedom to express themselves however they goddamn please.

Feminism is, according to Netmums at least, dying a death again. According to a survey on their site last week, only 1 in 7 users identified themselves as a feminist.

For the sake of convenience, I call myself a feminist, but I wasn’t remotely disappointed with the response. In fact, I was quite surprised that as many as 15% of those surveyed were prepared to associate themselves with a philosophy that has been deconstructed in popular culture to the point where it’s widely believed that if you don’t hate men, like body hair and have a girlfriend, you’re not allowed in.

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Death Grips: Epic Fail

Posted on by Kelly Welles

 
Californian hip-hop trio Death Grips have been dumped by Epic after the band released their second album on the internet without the label’s permission.  ‘No Love, Deep Web’ appeared as a free download on 1st October, along with a statement claiming that the label had refused to commit to a firm release date.

The cover art released alongside the album featured an erect penis with the album title written on it in black marker.

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Baghdad International Trade Fair: Nothing Dodgy Going On At All

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image: ALI AL-SAADI/AFP/Getty Images.

The Baghdad International Trade Fair kicks off today. In case you’re not fully up to speed, Hussain Qaragholi, President of the U.S. Business Council in Iraq, explained after last year’s event that the fair offers ‘distinguished’ companies like ExxonMobil, GE, Citi,  Honeywell & presumably Dodge, the opportunity to:

develop mutually beneficial economic partnerships with Iraq.

Having read this, I suddenly found myself wondering  just exactly how mutually beneficial a big fat contract to supply law enforcement vehicles might be to a population whose displacement due to conflict is estimated to be about 2.5m people.

I don’t know how my mind comes up with these hypothetical flights of fancy. I really don’t.

Donald Trump: I’m Alright, Barack

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image: Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images North America.

Sometimes, shit just happens and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

That will be of little comfort to Republican candidate Mitt Romney, who according to some reports, was ahead of Barack Obama in the opinion polls until Hurricane Sandy hit. Post Sandy, just by virtue of doing his job smartly and effectively, Obama is tipped to take the election. Romney just has to keep his mouth shut and look busy. Criticising a leader during a crisis is rarely a smart move.

Unless of course, you are impervious to rational thought and sensitivity, like Donald Trump.

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Fishlove: Rankin Tests A Conceit

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Greta Scacchi and Mark Foster show the fishlove. Image: Ben Pruchnie/Getty Images Europe.

PETA set the precedent for celebrity nudity promoting a cause with their “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” campaign”.

It’s continuing success is down to a canny exploitation of human being’s indefatigable desire to see things they shouldn’t (celebrities naked), which in turn draws them to a cause they might not otherwise care about (animal welfare).

Warning: images over the jump contain human and piscine nudity.

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The Viewer: X-Factor Antipathy

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image via twitter.

Congratulations to the X-Factor PR team, who have done a sterling job in promoting their acts across the media this season.

The Viewer hasn’t watched a single episode of the show  – the television is removed from her nest prior to the appointed time, just to be sure – and yet she has honed her dislike of Rylan Clark’s attention grabbing antics to such a sharp point, she may well poke someone’s eyes out with it.

It isn’t as though she’s even heard him sing.

Donald Trump & Barack Obama: Brothers From Another Borough?

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Trumpbama: Because science has proved that anyone with this hair must be a fool or an idiot. Or both. (Photoshop by KW)

Donald Trump’s offer to donate $5m to the charity of Barack Obama’s choice if the President released his college records and passport application has been widely derided, but most were not as witty as Obama’s own riposte, issued on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night.

Obama confided to Leno that Trump was holding a grudge against him, dating back “to when we were growing up in Kenya. We had constant run-ins on the soccer field, he wasn’t very good and resented it. When we finally moved to America, I thought it would be over.”

It’s not. And since this will have only exacerbated the antipathy between the two, don’t expect Trump to make the one donation to the election campaign that would engage voters, inject some much needed humour and most importantly for the property mogul, embarrass the incumbent to the point where anyone planning to cast a vote for him would think twice.

Which is presumably what Trumples was trying to do in the first place.

Ikea vs. FEMEN: Lock Up Your Sofas!

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Ikea Hamburg, this morning. Sticky. Images via facebook.

Members of the feminist protest group FEMEN shouted in an unladylike manner, trod on some furniture and may even have spilled greasy body paint all over a cushion during a protest against Ikea’s recent decision to airbrush women out of the Saudi Arabia version of their catalogue.

It appears there is no end to the hate crimes these woman are prepared to commit in pursuit of their cause.

More on FEMEN: You Can’t See Tits On The Radio, Provocative Enough For Pussy Riot?