The Rundown: Five Reasons Why You Should Take ‘Climbing Everest’ Off Your Bucket List

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Mount Everest. A relatively straightforward undertaking? Image: eteamjournal.

Why climb Mount Everest?

Thankfully, most of us don’t have to face this type of lunatic questioning on a regular basis. My chosen demographic nailed its colours to the ‘sitting in the pub, drinking beer, eating cheesy chips and laughing at people who exercise’ mast a long time ago, and feel morally superior by virtue of the fact that the closest we will ever get to an intensive  exercise regime is repeatedly reaching into a professional sized bag of crisps.

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The Penn State Community: Taking The Power Back

Posted on by Kelly Welles

A light aircraft warns authorities against inertia as it flies across the skies above Penn State University yesterday. REUTERS/Nabil K. Mark/Centre Daily Times.

Discussions about whether a statue of former football coach Joe Paterno should remain outside Penn State’s Beaver Stadium have apparently reached an impasse.

The FBI announced last week that they believed Paterno knew about incidents of child abuse perpetrated by his former colleague Jerry Sandusky, who is now in jail for his crimes.

The Viewer: Alan Partridge, The End Of The Affair

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Images via walesonline, partridgewikia. 

It happened.

The Viewer is devastated to report that after eighteen years of watching Alan Partridge flounder his way through the wreckage of his life, it has stopped being funny for her.

A period of mourning will be announced shortly.

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Buckles Up: G4S Boss Spearheads New Wave Of TV Torture

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image via blogspot.

This debonair and rather hirsute chap is Nick Buckles. Nick’s in charge of G4S, the company who have reportedly arsed up security for the London 2012 Olympics to such an extent, no one knows how many contract workers will be turning up to protect participants and visitors to the stadia.

Today, like Rebekah Brooks, Bob Diamond & David Cameron before him, he will attempt to defend his role in “the shambles” to a committee of MPs.

Is trial by Select Committee the natural successor to dramality television? It’s arguably as scripted, and in most cases the decision making of the protagonists is just as questionable, but the stakes are significantly higher than whether Arg can lose weight in time to run the London Marathon.

I’m betting it’s going to catch on. We as a nation have always enjoyed a bit of ritual humiliation.

Dereck Chisora vs. David Haye: So Nearly Sucked In

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Aww, BFF’s again. Image: Scott Heavey/Getty Images.

I came very close to having a meaningful emotional experience while watching a boxing match on Saturday night. Thankfully, my natural cynicism kicked in before I collapsed into embarrassing tears over how lovely the world is, but trust me, it was close.

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Joe Paterno: The Memory Lives On Forever

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image: REUTERS/Pat Little.

Nike have decided to drop the name ‘Joe Paterno’ from a child care centre on their campus after it was confirmed by the FBI that he helped cover up Jerry Sandusky’s involvement in a child molestation scandal that has rocked America.

Sandusky was recently found guilty on 45 charges of child sex abuse that took place during his tenure as assistant football coach at Penn State . It is believed that Paterno, who was head coach at the time the offences were committed, was aware of the abuse but failed to report it to the authorities.

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Daniel Tosh: Your Opinion. In 140 Characters Or Less, Please

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Daniel Tosh. Image via tumblr.

Another well meaning but ill-advised debate regarding the propriety of rape jokes has broken out on Twitter after a comedian in LA responded to a female heckler in his audience by asking the rest of them the following question:

Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…

A comedian indeed.

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David Haye & Dereck Chisora: Fence Off!

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image: REUTERS/Olivia Harris.

David Haye and Dereck Chisora are so up for their fight on Saturday, they had to be separated by a fence during a pre-match press conference. They were so blinded by the hate flowing through their veins, neither realised that they could have simply stepped around the fence and beaten each other to death.

Even if we bought into this crap though, and accepted the fact that this is a ploy to promote a ‘grudge’ fight that came about through a rather suspect series of events, we would still have to ask the following question. Are the payday, press coverage and purse attached to all this worth the damage to your careers and reputations?

Guess so.

From “Black Power” To Paddy Power: Courting Controversy Through The Ages

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Tommie Smith, Peter Norman and John Carlos on the podium at the 1968 Mexico Olympics. Images via tumblr, AP Photo/Michael Probst.

In an age when offending advertisers’ sensibilities by revealing a pair of unauthorised pants is considered the one of the most provocative and controversial acts a sportsperson can undertake, the magnitude of gestures like that in this iconic photo (top) can be lost.

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Take A Big Gulp, People, It’s Fun Being Clinically Obese!

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image: REUTERS/Andrew Burton.

This placard is part of a protest against New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s plans to restrict the sale of sugary drinks in containers larger than 16oz in delis, fast-food franchises and sports arenas.

It doesn’t extend to beverages sold at 7/11s and other grocery stores though. Just to be clear,  7/11’s Big Gulp range is currently offered in the following sizes: Gulps (20 oz) Big Gulps (30 oz), Super Big Gulps (40 oz) and Double Gulps (50 oz). The 64oz cup used to be the largest size available, but was reduced to a 50 oz cup when, according to the New York Times, customers complained it was “too difficult to carry“.

Seems a shame really. Arguably if 7/11 had listened to what their customers were saying, they would have kept the 64 oz  on their beverage list and added the 128 oz (6.4 pints, fact fans!) cup. The weight of the damn thing might have gone a little way to offset the 1500 calories it would contain.

No fun in that though, is there?