Hey! Football! Leave those kids alone!


A few years ago, a fifteen year old boy telephoned my favourite football phone-in and spoke very eloquently about his team, Stoke City. Robin was passionate and offered commentary on Stoke’s playing squad, tactics and management structure as well as informed ideas as to what might improve their play even more.

Which, as you’ll know if you’ve listened to BBC 606 with Fletch & Sav for any length of time, is as rare as Mark Clattenburg keeping a low profile during a game.

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I’ll tell you what’s on my effing mind…


It’s a great leveller, social media, isn’t it?

In olden times, before Facebook and Twitter were things, we had no portal to air our feelings on matters that we had no prior knowledge of, so we limited our explosive rants to subjects we were vaguely qualified on or just made a massive fool of ourselves down the pub.

At least then we kept our friends entertained.

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Jack Warner: Baggy Trousers, Dirty Shirt…

Embed from Getty Images

Here’s former FIFA vice-president Jack Warner signing in at Arouca Police Station, as per the terms of his bail.

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Richard Keys & Andy Gray: Rehabilitated & Ready For Rehoming?


Andy Gray & Richard Keys. Still honking. Image via digitalspy

It’s just over two years since Richard Keys and Andy Gray were sentenced for crimes against football.

At the time, the almost universal rejection of the El Crude Brother’s comments about the ability of a female official to work out when a player was offside felt like a watershed moment, and while it’s unlikely that sexism (along with its intolerant bedfellows homophobia and racism) will ever be kicked out completely, it was refreshing to see so many writers, pundits and fans take the opportunity to condemn the remarks and affirm their commitment to an inclusive sport for all to enjoy.

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Orlando Cruz: Crossing The Line

Amazingly, while several thousand people will be prepared to shout homophobic abuse at Cruz, very few are likely to tell him what they think of his proclivities to his face. Image via abcnews.com.

The macho perception of football and the subsequent attitude of fans was recently cited by The Secret Footballer as the principal reason for there being a grand total of zero ‘out’ gay players in the English Premier League.

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Joe Paterno: The Memory Lives On Forever

Image: REUTERS/Pat Little.

Nike have decided to drop the name ‘Joe Paterno’ from a child care centre on their campus after it was confirmed by the FBI that he helped cover up Jerry Sandusky’s involvement in a child molestation scandal that has rocked America.

Sandusky was recently found guilty on 45 charges of child sex abuse that took place during his tenure as assistant football coach at Penn State . It is believed that Paterno, who was head coach at the time the offences were committed, was aware of the abuse but failed to report it to the authorities.

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FEMEN: You Can’t See Tits On The Radio


Note to terrorists. If you’re trying to make a political point, don’t waste time with bombs and guns and violence.

There’s a much more effective way to threaten the very fabric of the civilisation. Get your boobs out** and run around. Even better, hurl yourself at expensive trinkets held so dear by the hierarchy. The panic on the faces of those paid to look after them hints that it might be a surprisingly rich vein.

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