Boris Johnson: Our Great Blonde Hope


Image: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images Europe.

The dearth of talent in British tennis is such that if Andy Murray fails to shine at Wimbledon, our next best hope is this.

Altogether now, desperate as you like… COME ON ANDY!!!!

Boris Johnson: Trust Issues

Image: AP Photo/Matt York.

And there was me thinking Boris Johnson was an original thinker.

Clearly his aerial antics at the Olympics a few months ago were a ruse to perpetuate the myth that he’s just a posh, vaguely confused buffer who couldn’t possibly do as much damage in a position of authority as someone with half a brain obviously can.

The truth is, he just nicked the idea off Richard Branson, who was prompting questions about his own rope handling competency as long ago as last October.

Bad Boris! No Downing St for you!

Readers Digest: I Am Boris Johnson’s Brain

Images: Getty Images Europe.

Great opportunity, blah blah, blah… affirm public faith in self as Prime Ministerial candidate…. blah blah…do not make a massive tit of oneself. Do not make a massive tit of oneself. Do not make a massive tit of oneself.

Right. Ready.

Continue reading “Readers Digest: I Am Boris Johnson’s Brain”

Boris Johnson: Unleash The Beast?

Image: Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images Europe.

Coverage of Boris’s adventures at the Olympics threatened to overwhelm the sporting competition at times.

He had enjoyed himself thoroughly and yearned to revisit the thrilling heights of the cable cars and zip wires during the Paralympics.

Continue reading “Boris Johnson: Unleash The Beast?”

Olympic Observations: Loose Ends & Legends

“You’re the wires guy, right?” Boris assumes security has been heightened in light of his last adventure. Image: SEAN DEMPSEY/AFP/GettyImages.

It’s all over, people, and you can now expect the UK to drift back into the familiar territory of self-hatred and celebrity lovin’ superciliousness we know and the Daily Mail loves.

Let’s just have one more round-up to remember it by, shall we?

Continue reading “Olympic Observations: Loose Ends & Legends”