It’s disappointing to realise that while I’ve spent the last godknowshowmany years trying to articulate the negative effects of pornography on young male minds (perpetuates illusion that instant gratification is not only reasonable but essential; requirement for women to conform to very specific parameters etc) when I could have just waited for this guy to place his wanted ad and do it for me.
In pink, too.
Magforce 300000V Electrical Stun Baton, sir? Image via firearmblog.
As usual when I woke up the this morning, the gallons of cranial fluid occupying the space where my brain should be sloshed over the first available distraction; a news story about two companies being chucked out of the DSEI (Defence & Security Equipment International) 2013 event for “promoting illegal weapons & torture equipment“.
According to the Green Party MP Caroline Lucas, Magforce International and Tianjin Myway were peddling “handheld projectile electric shock weapons, weighted leg cuffs and stun batons” among their other wares, which apparently contravene some complicated by-law that waves stuff like massive guns and RPGs right on through.
I went about my morning routine as usual, but by the time I’d arrived at work, the co-conspirators of a trusting/totally disinterested boss, an intermittent BT internet connection and unnerving curiosity had convinced me that there was no alternative but to spend the morning surfing the tubes and troughs of the defence industry and the enterprises that survive on its filthy, polluted run-off, to see what was actually available to a discerning lunatic with access to a credit card.
Like me.
Continue reading “With their tanks & their bombs & their bombs & their guns…”
Turkana has spent five years waiting for rainfall sufficient to supply them with the water necessary to continue their way of life. In 2011 and 2012, drought conditions were severe enough for the people, many of whom survive as nomadic herders, to sell off their livestock. Recently, the UN estimated that of a population comprising approximately 41 million people, about 17 million did not have access to clean, safe water.
A troll annotates a photo of a cosplay participant with critical text. It becomes a meme and goes viral. The troll is then called out for lack of research into cosplay by other internet users. This trends on Facebook.
I think.
The story of two hapless police officers who spot a goat on a roof during a routine patrol.
They approach the scene, only to be informed by neighbours that they should not attempt to get the animal down. Apparently, the goat “only respects one man.”
That man is
his ownerSamuel L. Jackson.
Ok, so there’s a bit of padding required, a terrorist plot to work in (possibly the goat could have an agenda and be wearing an explosive vest?), but it’s mostly there. And it’s based on a true story.
Given the budgetary constraints the global financial crisis has forced upon the film industry, I’d be surprised if they didn’t snap this up.
…or at least limped painfully out of the pop star equation.
If word got out that there was a guy in a a green Power Rangers costume hanging out near the stairs on the London Underground, it’s difficult to figure out what would happen to him first.
One thing is certain though: if he did escape the attentions of the Metropolitan Police’s anti-terrorism unit, he would almost certainly be mistaken for a performance artist and/or paedophile and battered to death, the only evidence of his existence a few shreds of polyester fabric strewn carelessly across the platform.
Continue reading “The Tokyo Subway Ranger: Weird, But In A Good Way”
I’m about 104 years past the median age of One Direction’s target demographic. I think their music is shallow, mechanical pop of the lowest order, with lyrics specifically tailored to titillate and exploit the first flushes of sexual maturity in teenage girls.
Despite all this, I’m still uncomfortable with the media propagating the hysteria by reporting it, and then seeking to legitimise their coverage by pointing out how irrational and disturbing the resulting behaviour is. When a teenage girl is threatening to kill people for dating a member of the band, or herself because she can’t meet them, it should be a source of concern, not smart-arse articles describing them as ‘witless devotees‘
I’m surprised the press feel so superior. Cheap, formulaic journalism isn’t really any better than cheap, formulaic devotion, is it?
Image via standard.co.uk.
Big Jay McNeely, Los Angeles, 1953. Original photo: Bob Willoughby, colourised by traquea on Reddit.
Is it the absence of colour that strips the subject of humanity in black and white photos or is it my brain?
Meet me in the condiments aisle in Tesco. You bring the baseball bat, I’ll bring the drumkit. Don’t make any plans for the evening you can’t cancel.
Kelly Welles 