David Cameron: Last Among Equals

Posted on by Kelly Welles

(Back L – R) Sean Fitzpatrick, Gary Player, Nadia Comaneci, Novak Djokovic, Boris Becker, Oscar Pistorius, Steve Regrave, Mark Spitz; (Front L-R) Kelly Holmes, Tanni Grey-Thompson, David Cameron, Edwin Moses and Martina Navratilova gather at 10 Downing St before the 2012 Laureus Awards last night. 

I honestly didn’t believe that the British media could portray David Cameron as any more of a loser than they currently do.

So kudos to whoever set up this shot of Cam, front and centre of a group of athletes whose achievements dwarf the PM’s to such an extent, even he looks embarrassed.

That person must have a wicked sense of humour. Or a Lib-Dem membership card.

Mitt Romney’s Most Fervent Supporter Is: Dead?!

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image: AFP PHOTO/Emmanuel Dunand.

Oh no, don’t panic. I misread her placard in all the excitement of the Colorado caucus. Her name is actually Dede Renzenberger and she’s very much alive, well and doing her bit for Mitt.

Maybe I was thrown by the woman next to her pulling the ‘I Smell Dead People’ pose, too.

Sepp Blatter: If The Soccer Thing Doesn’t Work Out…

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Shorts tight enough for you, Sepp? Image: Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

… a vacancy much more suited to your skill set is waiting for you in the Lingerie Football League, as demonstrated by this ‘gentleman’ during the LFL Superbowl yesterday.

Whaddya waiting for?

Lana Del Ray: She Might Be ‘Born To Die’, But Music Journos Should Get A Life

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Image: LIONEL BONAVENTURE/AFP/Getty Images.

All music commentators moaning about Lana Del Rey, I would ask you this.

You ‘proper’ music journalists are always wittering about manufactured acts clogging the charts, the evils of Simon Cowell and the lack of credibility in today’s current climate. I always assumed that this was because you believed that music should be judged on it’s own merits, regardless of the artist’s appearance, story and apparent authenticity.

Which is perfectly fine. But by the same token, don’t criticise Del Rey’s record because you’re embarrassed that the ‘gangsta Nancy Sinatra’ hype you all bought into was crushed by her uninspiring performance on Saturday Night Live. You can’t have it both ways. It makes you look dumb.

Especially when the record you’re slating is pretty good.

Stephen Hester: Happy Hunting!

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Stephen Hester in his other office as Master of the Foxhounds at the Warwickshire hunt. Image via socialistunity.com.

RBS Chief Executive Stephen Hester has waived his million pound bonus because he “does not wish to become a pariah“.

According to BBC Radio 5Live, Hester, whose decision to reject the bonus had nothing to do with RBS chairman Philip Hampton waiving his, hates this photograph of himself in a big hat on horseback and is tired of the media using it in their coverage.

Out of respect for Hester, and in homage to Private Eye’s running ‘Andrew Neill in a vest gag‘, I therefore intend to publish it in a variety of irrelevant contexts whenever possible.

You should, too.

Andy Murray: A Winner Loses

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Andy reads through a list of excuses for failure used by other British sportsmen recently. Image: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images.

If any British sportman has reason to piss and moan about unfairness in sport it’s Andy Murray, whose misfortune at being born at the exact same time in history as three of the finest tennis players ever becomes more apparent with every passing defeat.

But does the Scot, who was beaten in the semi-final of the Australian Open by Novak Djokovic earlier today, witter about broken toes or unauthorised lurkers when his quest for his first Grand Slam falls at the second to last hurdle yet again?

No. He says he is “proud to have closed the gap between himself and Djokovic” and “pleased to have taken him to five sets.”

Amir? Are you listening?

Louise Mensch vs. Laurie Penny: Clash Of The Feminist Titans

Posted on by Kelly Welles

 
I think Louise may have just sneaked this Question Time debate on feminism. Sadly, points must be deducted from Laurie Penny’s scorecard for excessive hair flicking and pouting.

And she didn’t piss off Paxman nearly as much as her blue corner opposition.

Cynthia Nixon: Post Ironic Poster Girl

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Cynthia Nixon. About to cause further controversy by claiming homosexuality is in fact a highly contagious virus manufactured by Al Qaeda. Image: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images North America.

It isn’t often that a celebrity can claim to be in trouble with both the pro AND anti-gay movements. So congratulations to Sex & The City actress Cynthia Nixon, who has reportedly angered gay activists by saying that her current status as lesbian is one she ‘chose’.

Anti-gay groups already hated her, obviously, because she’s dating a woman. So from a PR point of view, that’s a pleasingly limited budget spend right there.

Continue reading “Cynthia Nixon: Post Ironic Poster Girl” →

So What’s The Point Of Sex Again? I’m Confused.

Posted on by Kelly Welles

Rachel Zoe, her six-inch-heels and a conveniently positioned grate. Image: PacificCoastNews.com.

If procreation and furthering one’s own special gene puddle is the purpose of existence, how the hell did we end up in a position where the culturally accepted definition of ‘feminine’ involves denying you’re pregnant for as long as possible by wearing ridiculous heels, having an elective Caeserean to avoid sagging and then losing your babyweight in 4.6 minutes so you can get into even more ridiculous heels and size zero dresses?

Or is it just excessive surfing of the Daily Mail sidebar-of-shame which has led me to this upsetting and hopefully (because the Daily Mail are involved) erroneous opinion of my ‘sisters’?

The Death Penalty: Pose For Thought

Posted on by Kelly Welles

In the centre of this photo is the WM3’s Damien Echols. The guy on the right is the father of one of the boys Echols received the death penalty for murdering in 1994. It was taken at the Sundance Film Festival, where the latest documentary about the highly controversial case was being shown last weekend.

Regardless of whether you believe John Mark Byers’ latest claims that he believes Echols and his co-defendants Jessie Misskelley Jnr and Jason Baldwin are truly innocent of the crime, or like many, you think it’s a smokescreen to prevent suspicion to fall on him once again, this photograph would never have been taken if Echol’s punishment had been imposed.

Which is pretty sobering.